My folks raised me, with what they believed, to be the characteristics of a gentleman. I ALWAYS say please and thank you, I always hold the door open for people, I only expel flatulence in private, I sit down to take a pee when in someone else house so I don't spray the floor with drops, and I chew with my damn mouth closed - especially when on the phone.
One of the things I have always been aware of regardless of parental instilled values is that women are POWERFUL. They are a force that no man has the power to reckon with. (even men with a touch of lavender) As with any powerful force there is an element of respect one must provide when in the company of said force, and as such, I always, always, always put the toilet seat down after a stand-up pee pee. Now, as I said earlier I hardly ever do the stand-up leak when I am a guest at someones home, but 2010 has changed me...I am beginning to see the joy in making the splashy sound in the toilet. I like to watch the golden stream fly out from the tip of my penis and make rabidesque bubbles froth atop the bowl water. Often I will place one square of toilet paper into the bowl and try and pee it into a pulp. I enjoy this, I am unsure why, it actually frightens me to think about the reasons.
SO... the great debate: I left the bowl seat up at work the other day and was scolded by a powerful force who had almost had a sit down on the seatless rim (which I found temporarily humorous) But it sparked a fantastic lunch room debate and I believe I have come out victorious. Option 1. I leave the seat down after I peep out my pee, and then some jack-ass comes in with no manners and pees his pee all over the seat as he tries and fails to pee-pee into the center bowl (yes this happens, a lot of men are lazy believe it or not) Then when a man who has to poop or a woman without enough hovering muscle in her thighs comes along to use the toilet they have to wipe piss off the seat first. GROSS!
Option 2. I leave the seat up after I pee or deuce, and when another man wants to drop his deuce or when a lady wants to do some of her business, all they do is simply put the seat down, and put it back up when they drop off their mess. BOOM...a clean seat always!
Option 2 ALWAYS leaves the seat clean for everyone to enjoy, whereas Option 1 leaves room for trouble.
A woman may cry, "why is it so hard to put the seat down" the correct response is simple, "becasue I CARE about you" The real question is, why are some of you so damn lazy that you can't leave the seat up??
